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Monday, May 21, 2012


you've been appearing in my dreams, repeatedly. i don't blame you. i only have myself to blame. to be still stucked in a place that i very much feel comfortable and alive. i know i should have gotten out of the place long ago. it's been years. you most probably have went to another chapter in life. i should probably flip the book of my life soon too. this isn't doing any good to me. 

had a long chat with a colleague. we shared experience and advice. it's rather easy to say out opinions and experience but ultimately, it comes down to the actions that is going to take place. am i just going to take the advice or am i going to do something about it? 

closed heart. either wait for a turnover or wait for someone who will open up your heart again. for now, after so long, i don't believe in the latter. :/

2:01 PM

Monday, April 30, 2012


i'm not a gentleman. but i'm certainly stronger than those who try to be one. you frequently break the rules of a gentleman yet, expect to be one. being a gentleman is not all about treating girls right. there's more than the status speaks for itself.

3:22 AM

Thursday, April 26, 2012


ohh they changed the dashboard layout on blogger.
back to old space again.
a lot of things have been happening at home. i just hope that everything that happened, will settle down. sooner or later.
i really wished that one day, we'll be able to face each other and chat. just a small little chat.

3:29 AM

Sunday, April 8, 2012


everything bad started in 2008? went through my archives. and i didn't realize that it's been years. it was a rough patch that i went through. or maybe, we went through. i really feel happy and free to still own this blog. somewhere i can express my feelings. sometimes, i do still think of you. just to see you smile and be happy.

i feel like i'm going through a critical period in life right now. i'm starting to take notice of people's attention. like i need attention of any kind. i'm not the kind that need all these attention. just that, i feel more lonely than ever. different than friends company. they're all great funny friends. i just lack of someone who i can talk to freely. someone who i can trust and share my thoughts. someone who i don't need to impress. someone who is genuine towards the friendship. i miss having a genuine person beside me.

3:15 AM

Thursday, April 5, 2012


back to old space again. a place i can post up my thoughts without getting judged by people. well, it's a worlwideweb but then again, i doubt anyone reads my blog anymore. because everyone needs a space where they can open up themselves and type out what's been bothering them or what's making them feel very happy.

currently waiting for national service right now. a lot of things happened in my mind lately. maybe, i've used up all my positivity. maybe, i'm just tired. i hate to live up to other's expectations. i hate trying to live up to others' standards. these are really the little things that shouldn't bother me at all. i can't believe i was trying to live according to other's expectations. what was i thinking? was i even thinking at that point of time? i'm utterly disappointed with myself over and over again. it's the second time this week. this week wasn't a great week even though it's only Thursday right now. i will try to get back on track in life. i have not been on track and i know it myself. i need a getaway. a short stay away from home and clear my mind. just a short one will do. i want to do things right. enough mistakes.

deactivated my twitter account. it's a useless place. i have nothing that i can do there. why bother having a useless account right? /\

12:05 AM

what